Today when I woke up, I opened social media as usual, and read a snippet of some personal writing piece that Andrew Hussie has recently released to the world. You can read it here if you’re curious (Google Docs warning). It covers many important topics especially relating to their public perception and their life, it is a very personal autobiographical piece. Although, the important part since you are reading my blog and not Andrew Hussie’s, it is that for me personally, there is a particular section that shot me like a dagger through the heart. It is their statement on creation near the end. Hussie is a master of creation in a way that is undeniable to the collective internet conscious, and in a way that I find extremely inspiring, so their opinion is of particular relevance. Basically, I am an elitist torturing myself to no end, inducing self-paralysis so strong and life denying that I was basically killing myself. I have killed myself in fact! Who is the shichisei author past 2024?! I constantly praise creative works that others might view as unrefined, trashy and sloppy, but don’t remotely apply the same grace to myself. My stuff has to be well thought-out, structured and well researched, put in its place and never presposterously taking any leaps. I refine and refine, wait and wait, zero trust that my world of thinking and my world of magic living inside my mind could actually be beneficial to anyone. Of course, not wanting to mislead others is an incredible noble sentiment that many seem to lack as the currencies of profit and attention are valuable indeed, but if it comes at the cost of killing myself, than to hell with it! My unrefined world is valuable, because I AM valuable. Those who might take refuge in me as a result of me sharing my world instead of Buddhadharma are crazy fools that I don’t and won’t condone, but that could be certainly be more interesting than those taking refuge in exploitation and consumerism if it had any likelihood of happening… Self-hatred and lack of self-confidence are not and will never be equivalent to being humble and responsible, and are even quite the opposite (being obsessed with hating yourself is also being obsessed with yourself, after all!). And it’s on those terms that you can enter my study. I hope it will be fun.
Obviously, because of my refuge, I try to derive knowledge and understanding especially pertaining to things such as worldview and right view from Buddhadharma. Which I do. But of course, as an unrealized layman particularity affectionate of artistic expression, I do find a lot of very powerful inspiration in conventionally "wordly" things. Note that a separation and distinction between what is "Buddhadharma" and "not Buddhadharma" is extremely superficial and not correct either, but it’s the same principle that says you’d have more luck learning about carpentry from a carpenter than a toddler. But I digress. One of my recent and most powerful inspirations is the visual novel Umineko When They Cry, which as a clarification I am midway through as of typing this. In the realm of minor spoilers that are so vague and out of context that no reveal will be ruined to this unenlightened blog reader, one character has been described as having the magic of being able to create from zero. At a first glance, this does seem like "magical thinking", but it is actually profound. Take the most basic and currently world relevant binary, 0 and 1. Visualize 0 as the light switch being off and 1 as the light switch being on. What is 0? It is NOT 1 (¬1 for the nerds), as in 1 negated. And vice-versa, 1 is NOT 0 (¬0). The state of the light being on "exists" because it can be contrasted with the state of the light being off. As such, the state of the light being on inherently contains the state of the light being off, and of course this holds true for the opposite situation. Existence "paradoxically" exists because of non-existence. Think about it like this, you can write a binary as 1 and NOT 1 (1 and ¬1) instead of 1 and 0. 0 is awfully convenient though, please do not get me wrong on this, although getting beat up by a crowd of engineers is interesting… Anyways, to help and understand this idea more clearly, we will move away from numbers as they are awfully abstract (something some people tend to miss in their explanations), and take the classic example of an object, such as a "cute moe figurine".
The "cute moe figurine", that you spent oh so much hard money on to enjoy its aesthetic appeal of at your wonderful leisure, "exists", because of anything that is NOT the concept of this object. If the ENTIRE UNIVERSE was "cute moe figurine", what even is it anymore?! Any shape, any observer?! It doesn’t exist at all! It’s flattened to nothing, entirely static, non-interacting. THE SOUND OF IT IS SO HORRIBLE THAT IT MAKES ME CRY… And this exact same principle applies to anything we can conceptualize, as in objects of cognition. Anything you can name right now is a concept, basically. The thesis is essentially, nothing can be found to "actually exist" besides through relative contrasting. All of this is to explain the concept of Śūnyatā (Emptiness) as I understand it. That all phenomena lack any essence and only exist relatively. But, what does all of this imply? I think this stanza from the "Diamond Sutra" puts it best:
All conditioned phenomena
Are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, shadows,
Like dew drops and a lightning flash:
Contemplate them thus.
Conceptual reality, as in reality where we "percieve" "this" or "that", is essentially a haunted mansion. Grasping at "things" is like grasping at ghosts. And yet, things do "exist"! Getting slapped across the face hurts! Any nihilistic interpretation is WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG as it does the opposite mistake of thinking that the ghost of things "not-existing" is the real one when it is equally as ghastly as the ghost of things "existing". All of this is what allows motion and dynamism in the world, and thus, a "living world". This is why one of my teachers stating once that "truth is often found in paradoxes" still resonates very deeply with me. These paradoxes and contradictions are basically the motor and fuel of dynamism and movement, I feel. Basically the lesson, to me, is to not grasp as ghosts too hard, as the more you do, the more you give them a static "existence" and weakening the power of their dynamism in your life. Please don’t forget that ghosts "exist" in this haunted house. You will dislike getting slapped.
That was an "intellectual" primer on Emptiness from yours truly. Now let’s return to creating from 0. As nothing actually has any substance and can only be "percieved" through contrast, we really cannot actually grasp anything anywhere. Everything is the "state" of emptiness, 0. Note that this is not nothingness, 0 is still a number after all… The misconception of nihilism is so grave and life-denying that I must insist and make sure. Anyways, we can say that all phenomena, reality, has the "mark", or the "characteristic", of 0. Kinda like 1 can be seen as being actually 1 + 0. 0 is contained in there, and yet 0 has no flavor, color, taste, sound or touch, nor does it add anything or reduce anything to the number 1. Yet it is still "there"! Basically, the second you try to grasp any solid ground in 0, such as, reality is "this", reality "exists", reality doesn’t "exist", you’ll phase completely through and smash your face against concrete. In this metaphor, smashing your face against concrete is driving yourself actually insane, which honestly makes the physical harm sound more appealing in comparison. This is why I think Nāgārjuna, which I haven’t actually read directly yet for full transparency, proclaimed to have no views whatsoever. And yet, he wrote lengthy treastises about philosophy, how come? It is because 0 allows anything to move through. It is not nullification, but freedom. Nāgārjuna writing is not remotely hypocritical, as, after all, affirming the "non-existence of views" is a view. What he said was a figure of speech to try to convey what is difficult to convey. Describing "something" with no attributes is very difficult… The mind in the state of 0 allows one to move freely and not lock themselves and deny dynamism through grasping at ghosts and trying to tie them down. With the "sandbox" of absolute freedom, 0, you can "create" anything, as in new ghosts are similarly devoid of any substance as any other. And yet, all of these ghosts can be incredibly useful! Grasping at the ghost of nihilism and delusion might pretty much ruin your life, but manifesting the ghost of, for example, a "big breasted nee-chan" (a concept Umineko didn’t introduce but still pioneered) motivating you to do life fulfilling tasks, seems useful indeed. Basically judge everything based on the positive and skillful effects it has on you as a person. Although, the second you start percieving the "big breasted nee-chan" as "real" and not a ghost, you’ll shackle yourself again in stasis and inflexibility and lose the wonderful freedom and power of 0. And that is what I interpret creating from 0 to be. Magical power! In the truest sense!
Obviously, there are many other ideas and modes of thinking that shape my "world", especially classing things using useful archetypes such as astrological concepts or, more movingly, manifestations of deities and bodhisattvas. I do lose the footing of 0 pretty much constantly, and affirm or deny "existences" in my mind, which makes me either manic or most oftenly paranoid, enduring constant doubts and thinking I’m completely crazy. Notice how almost all of what pains me in life is due to self-loathing… it is a very scary and terrifying ghost that haunts my entire life… The ultimate lesson I will pass on is please, please, have courage in your heart. Not believing is equally as ghastly as believing. Believe in the witches making candy rain from the sky, as long as there is an important distinction: it is skillful. It is skillful for you and contributes to positive motion in your life. Compared to, let’s say, believing in terrifying conspiracies, or being hunted by actual demons, or believing in magical beings that magically solve your problems and denying your own agency. Anything that pushes you positively is good, be courageous and take leaps to help yourself. You are your own dearest friend for life. That is the undeniably real and wonderful magic of 0. Uu-uu!
08/04/26
- Wonderful Magical Sorcerer Shingou